The conclusion
Today is Wednesday January 23rd 2013. One month ago, Our houseguest, my dear friend J. passed away, on Sunday, Dec 23rd. One entire month has transpired.
In one month I've learned more than before :
1. Grudges have no place in a Christian's life. Really, fix your problem the sameday, if you have the option. If you don't make it a priority. Its urgent to fix to save from regret and smooth memories, its also a great thing to do.
2a. Stubborn and obstinate people have a very hard time dealing with betrayal. And we are all obstinate and stubborn people, we just don't realize it.
2b. People will treat you however they like, and will only remember when you loose your cool no matter how many nice things you've done for them. However, do good anyway see Reason 3.
2c. Don't be a jerk, no matter how much a person makes you feel(actually no one can make you feel bad without your permission) you have no right to go out your way to make a person feel less than important.
2d. Suck it up, have a conversation and fix the relationship. (If its worth it.)
2e. Don't dare be the first song bird to sing praises at a persons funeral if you don't care for them while they're living. Phoney and hypocrite are the words thar come to mind.
3. Love really does cover a multitude of sin and love casts out all fear.
4a. Funerals are really messed up events, sad jokes and to some degree a worship of the dead. Expensive Ceremony and sad performances. I've learned that its important to say what you are going to say while the person lives. It's pointless to say fanciful compliments and nice statements you've never said in life, at the person's death . Do what they need while they live.
4b.Also It is pointless to send flowers to a viewing, when you boil it all down, its sort of a major waste of money. Give the cash to the family. If you were a part of their life then the conclusion of their life is where you'd celebrate, not the place for any selfish-self justification so everyone thinks you look good. Not the place.
5. People lie a lot.
6. God knows the truth completely.
7. You may be now apart of a few people who know the entire full story,now what? The person who is dead can't help you verify or deny the details. There comes a point where you have to be at peace with all the info you have and truth knowledge and connected dots, you know now because it doesn't bring the person back. Also second guessing self only spins your wheels. Learn the lesson treat people right.
8a. Many problems can be solved. Completely and thoroughly with a "please forgive me. I was an idiot" I said before in another blog, it takes about 10 seconds to renew and release but it takes humility and a want to it fixed (see reason 3 again). I was a jerk, forgive me lets do it over.
8b. Forgiveness costs less than regrets.
9. Though I don't believe in dead people roaming the earth, I do believe people can be haunted by regrets in all manner of ways. And they'll manifest in time.
10. May God have grace and mercy on all of us. May we show mercy and grace to others. God will set straight.
11. Tell the people you love, that you love them everyday and every night.
12. Do right by people even when you're upset.
13. At the end it the day let them go.
Not that I've perfected any of this. These are just some lessons I've learned. Any one out there I've offended please forgive me. Lets talk as soon as possible to fix our relationship. Maybe we can salvage our friendship.
In one month I've learned more than before :
1. Grudges have no place in a Christian's life. Really, fix your problem the sameday, if you have the option. If you don't make it a priority. Its urgent to fix to save from regret and smooth memories, its also a great thing to do.
2a. Stubborn and obstinate people have a very hard time dealing with betrayal. And we are all obstinate and stubborn people, we just don't realize it.
2b. People will treat you however they like, and will only remember when you loose your cool no matter how many nice things you've done for them. However, do good anyway see Reason 3.
2c. Don't be a jerk, no matter how much a person makes you feel(actually no one can make you feel bad without your permission) you have no right to go out your way to make a person feel less than important.
2d. Suck it up, have a conversation and fix the relationship. (If its worth it.)
2e. Don't dare be the first song bird to sing praises at a persons funeral if you don't care for them while they're living. Phoney and hypocrite are the words thar come to mind.
3. Love really does cover a multitude of sin and love casts out all fear.
4a. Funerals are really messed up events, sad jokes and to some degree a worship of the dead. Expensive Ceremony and sad performances. I've learned that its important to say what you are going to say while the person lives. It's pointless to say fanciful compliments and nice statements you've never said in life, at the person's death . Do what they need while they live.
4b.Also It is pointless to send flowers to a viewing, when you boil it all down, its sort of a major waste of money. Give the cash to the family. If you were a part of their life then the conclusion of their life is where you'd celebrate, not the place for any selfish-self justification so everyone thinks you look good. Not the place.
5. People lie a lot.
6. God knows the truth completely.
7. You may be now apart of a few people who know the entire full story,now what? The person who is dead can't help you verify or deny the details. There comes a point where you have to be at peace with all the info you have and truth knowledge and connected dots, you know now because it doesn't bring the person back. Also second guessing self only spins your wheels. Learn the lesson treat people right.
8a. Many problems can be solved. Completely and thoroughly with a "please forgive me. I was an idiot" I said before in another blog, it takes about 10 seconds to renew and release but it takes humility and a want to it fixed (see reason 3 again). I was a jerk, forgive me lets do it over.
8b. Forgiveness costs less than regrets.
9. Though I don't believe in dead people roaming the earth, I do believe people can be haunted by regrets in all manner of ways. And they'll manifest in time.
10. May God have grace and mercy on all of us. May we show mercy and grace to others. God will set straight.
11. Tell the people you love, that you love them everyday and every night.
12. Do right by people even when you're upset.
13. At the end it the day let them go.
Not that I've perfected any of this. These are just some lessons I've learned. Any one out there I've offended please forgive me. Lets talk as soon as possible to fix our relationship. Maybe we can salvage our friendship.
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