So you got new hubcaps? Nice rims!

This is the story..
we planned to go to Albany to visit family from 2 weeks back.
so we decided to check the car first light bulb needed fixing and oh my look at those hub cabs, it's like we're missing teeth!on two left on.

we went to Autozone
we parked at Autozone
we purchased the parts for the right brake light and
 there in the box were two sets of hubcaps silvery and shiny,
verses dark and chrome-y.
I asked my children.
They all picked the shiny ones.
Daddy wanted the Dark and chrome. Looks robotic. got one, returned it, then got the other.

Applied to car- only 40 dollars! thats like $10 dollars a piece!
got everything ready and then, and then.......
the key will not turn.
Not turn over like alternator when battery is dead,
No, but turn over like, the radio on, kind of turn.The key wont turn to turn the car on!

"Nice rims" i thought "needs to drive."

after trying for 2 hours now 10:45 pm we decided to order the part that will be here by 12 on Saturday morning.
We were so hoping to be driving Saturday morning but maybe done by 2 at the latest.

We went home, on foot.

Hoping for success in the morning. Err.... i mean afternoon.

Saturday!!!!!
Got my tools got my screw drivers, got up and decided that I,Greg is going to fix my ride with the nice rims today!!

Stood on line 30 minutes, no problem gonna fix my ride
Nice rims

got to the car and took apart the steering upper and lower cover.
Cake.
Nice rims

got instructions and the part.
Disconnected the battery
got everything in position to replace the part.
I can see us rolling up in Albany at sunset. Everyone saying wow nice rims or hubcaps.

"Put the key in the go/ forward position to disengage the ignition lock"

 What?

This is a problem.

Everyone knows that if the key was to go in the go position i would not be having this problem. The car and the key would agree. But since there is no agreement there we have a negotiating the terms of release issue. The key can't turn to release the lock. Wonderful.

Who makes this stuff?


 3 more hours pass by. now we are entering 3:00 pm.

The street mechanics are circling, circling my car.
like sharks around wounded fish.
my thumbs are sore from trying to turn the switch.
I take off the paneling around the steering column.
 
another hour passes and I'm talking with God. "Dear God please help me. I know there is a lesson here and I know that you're probably keeping me from some harm somewhere but this is an expensive lesson."

3:30
I give up.
I got out an went to call for a street mechanic.
Maybe he knows more than me.
 big mistake.

I explained there problem, I knew exactly what was the problem.
i showed him what was the problem. I knew how to fix the problem.
I gave him the helm and he made more problems!!!!!

Why are they even standing there?

No that is not what we need to do!
Two springs and oil pop out of my Gear selector box.
4:30 pm

I realize this guy is a buffoon and just trying to take over the less mechanically educated. Kids stay in school and play with legos and try out animation programs, it will train your brain mechanically!!!!!  

I felt myself growing more frustrated. I didn't curse him out or physically accost him, but I wanted to.

He realized he was out of his league and was about to go when I said , no no you need to put it back! the gear selector springs and stuff back where it belongs."
 
He did. and then I called my wife who wisely told me to go get something to eat before I go postal on this mechanic.

I bought him a Sicilian slice and a Sprite for trying.

Enter the Locksmith

"Hey buddy, what's the problem?"  from this very proactive fella.

 It started to rain at this point.
I explained the problem and the buffoonery of the previous mechanic.

This is a precision job, you have to know how to delicately cut it or you'll mess up everything.

I felt trapped and I knew it he could see it. and I had an idea how to fix my own mess with drilling the hole, but he got to me first. He said $75 dollars. I said how about $50 he said "Sure thing!" went and got his drill.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

BZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

"Um is it supposed to do that?" I said. no point describing what I'm seeing.

"yeah, yeah happens all the time."

BZZZZZZ,

"Precision huh?"

"Exactly!" he shouts.
BZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ

"Is it supposed to take this long?" I said

"Your car is tough machinery it usually plops off in a few minutes."

BZZZZZ BZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

"There you go. Like a dream." he said.

"I may need some dental work and eye surgery maybe you can help?"I said

He laughed.

I wanted to cry.

He did get it and he did not damage internal components like he said.

asked for a broom for all the metal shards he gave it.

got rid of all the shards and sweeped them all
I installed the cylinder making sure that all parts worked well and fit nicely together.

He's like, let me connect the battery.

I'm like no way heres your $50  dollars, thank you and good day.

Nice rims.

Thank you.

He left and I began to reassemble the entire paneling and cover

 I called Amy and the kids and said yaay we can go now!!!!

while on speaker phone, I tried to change gears from park to drive, will not budge!

Oh no!  i have to disassemble the entire thing again!!!!!

one hour later I am under the dash as a contortionist trying to find out where decompressed springs fit on a unit i've never seen before.

30 minutes later , I got it , learned how the key turns the selector lock and release the gear indicator lever. Reassembled the entire thing. now 8 pm I am exhausted and tired. I go home. to go back on the road to a awesome weekend or atleast what was left of it.


These encounters are exactly why I love my family and love being at home with them. Out side is expensive.

To their praise I did learn that the locksmith favorite tool is a drill. and that you have to be as smart as a mechanic if you need to fix your car and to not be taken for a ride. So I thank my teachers for teaching me how to fix my own car.

As I got out of the car to visit my sister upstate, i looked at the hubcaps,
" hey,  it really is some nice rims me thinks.

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